To Be A Good Wife And Mother

She came to me, my first born daughter, to ask her Dad if she could get married. She was a senior in high School. She wanted to get married in the summer soon after graduation. I was a bit surprised, to say the least. Kari and Tyler had been best friends for a long time, and I must have been oblivious to the fact that they were this deeply in love. He was a fine young man, I must say, the son of one of my best friends. But to think of my daughter getting married so young was a major hurdle to overcome. It was kind of an unspoken Christian standard that sharp, intelligent, respectable Christian young people go to college and wait for marriage until they are well grounded and mature. Whatever that means.

But that is what I expected. I was caught up in the mold. She was a 4.0 student, valedictorian of her graduating class. And I had visions of all the possibilities that lay before her. Choice of what college she wanted to go to. What career she might pursue. What great achievements she might accomplish.

This, though, was the clincher. The thing that captured my mind and heart. That which pulled God into the middle of the question, rather than allowing my Christian community to determine the answer. She asked me this. “Dad, I am convinced that God wants me to be a good wife and mother. Isn’t that what you have always taught me? Isn’t that what God wants of me?”

Perhaps it was God who thrust the dagger of truth into my heart, rather than Kari. Or at least made the truth light up like a neon light. I told her that I would have to think about it, and turned to walk away. In reality I went into another room, closed the door, and cried big huge tears of joy and thanksgiving for her incredible faith and understanding, and tears of submission to God’s plan for my daughter.

Well, the news got out that she was engaged, and still in high school. I had more friends and peers question me and my wisdom than you can possibly imagine. I was shocked, but held it in. This was a God thing, and no one was going to steal my joy, nor hers. At the Christian school where Kari attended there was but one teacher who congratulated me for my daughter’s plans. Just one. And I shall never forget that dear old wisened saint.

Well the wedding came and went. And even in the midst of the ceremony my Kari reduced me once again to a puddle of tears by having her mother sing a song that I had written for our wedding 24 years before. And now the years are starting to pass by and I can look back to evaluate the sincerity and maturity of her request and my decision. She has put her all, her absolute all, into being a loyal and supportive wife. And now she is raising three wonderful children. Because of her spiritual heart and wisdom they will one day go to their mommy and daddy and say, “I think that this is what God wants of me. What do you think?”

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what the Lord requires of you. But to act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)