Prince Charming

The story of Prince Charming has been a part of folklore for a long, long time.  It is a theme woven into many a character and many a story. Like so many great story motifs, it must have some substance in truth and reality to have become such a captivating storyline.

So, who is this Prince Charming character? What makes this storyline so endearing?

Prince Charming is best known for rescuing the damsel in distress. Prince Charming is the deepest desire of a woman looking for peace and security in her fragile existence. She is not looking for the perfectly sculptured man, like the statue of David, created by Michelangelo.  No, Prince Charming is not even necessarily good looking. Prince Charming is the man who loves a woman by taking the initiative to protect, respect and unleash her. He cares deeply. He is committed, loyal, and attentive to needs and desires. Prince Charming is willing to give his life for the woman he loves, like Jesus, who gave his life for his bride.

In a recent interview a strong woman was asked a poignant question. “As a woman in a leadership role, here in a large church, can you describe your view of the role of a man in marriage?”  She replied, “If a man will lead, protect, and honor me, and if he would risk his life for me, I would follow him anywhere.”

Our country, today, has become incredibly polarized. One of those issues is the role of men and women. Chauvinism, sexist, paternalistic -- these are just a few of the words and concepts at the forefront of the issue. Like a tidal wave, it was slow to start, but it keeps rising, relentlessly. This upheaval is affecting the political landscape, the workplace, media, families, and individuals in very real ways. It is changing societal norms in every conceivable manner, and every single arena, including the church.

Are the roles of men and women even still relevant? Is it still worth defining and differentiating those roles? For those who may still be interested, let’s take a stab at it.

If we were to take our cue from nature itself, we might get a clue of the basic roles of men and women. Men are the pointed ones. They are designed to lead and point the way. Men rise to the occasion. They are designed to risk and protect. Men are action oriented. They are designed to lead, not by control or intimidation, nor by withdrawal, but with decisions and actions flowing out of sincere love.

Women, on the other hand, are connection oriented. For them romance is all about relationship. Women expose themselves. They are willing to be vulnerable, and that vulnerability must never be trampled, or the woman will close up, and become damaged goods. A woman brings joy to a man’s life.

Unfortunately, though, Prince Charming is not a longing in the heart of many, many women. That’s because men have the power not only to bless, but also to ruin. And ruin litters the landscape where many a man has rampaged. The abuse of women by men has caught up with us. And sadly, fathers and husbands are the single greatest perpetrators. Women are rising up in anger and protest. Sexual abuse is coming out of hiding like floodwaters rushing through a broken dam. Politicians, Hollywood, religious leaders, media, families -- in every arena where men and women rub shoulders, where men have some degree of power or superiority, women are being demeaned and abused.

Sadly, Prince Charming may be dead. I recently watched a movie, The Last Jedi. I was dumbfounded by the portrayal of the men and the women. The three strongest characters were women – Princess Leia, of course, then Rey, who continually risked her life to defend the Resistance, and Vice Admiral Holdo, who literally gave up her life in a death mission to protect her comrades.  All the evil characters were portrayed as men – Snoke, Kylo Ren, and General Hux. Then there was Luke Skywalker, portrayed as terribly flawed – checked out and totally detached. Fortunately, he was “redeemed”. We’ve come a long way, baby – for me, it was painful to swallow.

Rise up, oh Men of God. You still have the God-ordained opportunity and responsibility to be Prince Charming to your woman.