Loves Me, Loves Me Not

When I was a boy we used to get a flower and pull the petals off, one by one. And as we pulled the petals we would say, alternatively, “She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not.” And the last petal would be the verdict. If it ended with “she loves me”, then the girlfriend of the moment was in love with us. But if the last petal ended with “she loves me not”, then we were out of luck. If it was someone we really, really liked then we would do it over and over until it ended the way we wanted it to end.

Why is love so difficult, so fleeting, so choosy? Why is it said of Christians that they are the only army that shoots their own? A young applicant for a summer camp ministry team was recently asked by the director, “Have you ever worked in ministry before? You need to know that we tend to eat our own.”

The story is told of a man walking across a bridge one evening, who happened upon another man, sitting on the railing, planning to jump off into the river below to end his life. The man on a stroll asked the despondent man some questions, hoping to calm him down and gain his trust, so as to help him out of his despair. He asked if he was a man of faith, and he was. He asked him what church he attended and they discovered that they were both Baptist. He asked which branch of the Baptist he was and again they found they were the same. So they began to rejoice, and drew close, like long lost brothers. They he asked him if he was in agreement with the view of the Southern Synod on the issue of ecclesiology. The man answered firmly, “No, I am not. I hold to the view of the Western Synod.” And with that the first man shoved him off the bridge.

Love is the greatest. The greatest gift, the greatest fruit, the greatest evidence, the greatest empowerment. But we tend to turn it on and turn it off at will. We pour it on when convenient, or when it is to our advantage. Then we turn it off for those whom we choose.

One of my favorite movies is “Princess Bride”. It has some classic quotes in it. “Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.” Or the one I have on a t-shirt that my wife got for me, “Inconceivable!” But the best ones have to do with love. “As you wish.” Or the doctor saying over the almost dead Wesley, “True love, now that’s a noble cause.” The movie appeals to me because it tells a story of true love, love that cannot be deterred or defeated, not by years as a pirate, not by torture or the deceit of a competing paramour, nor even by the duty and mission of war and revenge. Love is the greatest.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…. These three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” ( I Corinthians 13)

My prayer is this. “Lord, you told us to love our enemies. But sometimes I find it easier to love my enemies than to love my brothers. And I am appalled at myself. Not great big moral differences, but simple little irritations cause me to avoid loving. I become negative, pessimistic, biting, or just plain silent. So help me Lord to love. To love like you love, full of grace and encouragement. When I get to the last petal of the flower it is not a 50/50 chance of love, but a choice. I choose to love.”