The
headlights were bearing down on me at sixty miles an hour, ready to smash into
my car, broadside. My life was about to
end, so I looked away and waited, wondering how quick it would be, and how much
it would hurt. I had become disoriented in a heavy rainstorm, after dark, and
had come to a stop, not at the stop sign, but in the middle of the northbound
lane of state highway 224. Fortunately, the other driver was able to swerve,
and I was able to accelerate just enough that the crash did not kill or maim
either of us.
It
has been nearly two years since that horrific incident and I have not driven my
car through that intersection a single time since that night. I changed my
route permanently. It was easy to change.
Whenever
I have the opportunity to teach about living by grace rather than living by
self-effort I am eventually asked the question, “So what is the catalyst to
change?” You see, grace is inviting, whereas trying to please God by getting my
act together on my own is futile and tiring. So, what is the gimmick? What is
the secret? Where is the switch to turn it on, they ask. I give them my answer,
what I learned from my own experience, and from an abundance of Biblical
stories. I preface it by saying that it is probably not the answer they want to
hear. The catalyst for change, my friend, is brokenness, I tell them. Apart from a crisis of brokenness no one
has much of any incentive to change. Brokenness is the doorway in to living by
grace and walking in step with the spirit. And on the doorknob you will find inscribed
the word humility.
Change
is difficult. It is nigh unto impossible. That’s why we use the word
“addiction”. How many times have you tried to change a bad habit and failed. The
chains of that bad habit were so light at first that you did not even feel
them, but by the time you wanted to change the chains were so heavy that you
could not break free. You discover that will power is no power at all. The only
thing that will initiate change is not resolve, but crisis. Welcome the
brokenness. Don’t curse the bad luck, don’t waste the moment. Submit to the
love of God and the love of close friends. Cherish the gift of forgiveness. And
surrender to the work of repentance that the spirit of God is doing. When the
prodigal son came to the point of brokenness and returned to the love of his
father, the story ends by saying that the angels in heaven rejoice whenever one
person repents, when someone is transformed and changed.
No
one knows the Healer until they need healing. No one trusts the Provider until
they are penniless. No one surrenders to the Prince of Peace until all hell
breaks loose. And I am afraid that very few comprehend or trust grace until the
weight of bitterness or shame becomes unbearable.
God
cannot use you until first you are broken. My daughter, Erika, got a small Shetland
pony for her young daughter to ride. Rocky was green, never ridden, even though
he was ten years old. Erika patiently tried to break the horse, to get his will
surrendered to the idea of having a rider on his back. But he was stubborn, self-willed,
and was never broken. He even cornered a larger horse in a stall and kicked it
to death. Rocky ended up being good for nothing but a pasture ornament. He
looked good, but he was useless.
God
is not sitting on his hands up in heaven waiting till we give up so he can
rescue us. No, He works hard to bring us to brokenness, to a place of humility
and surrender. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. He is in
the business of transforming lives, freeing us from every bit of
self-obsession. He desperately wants to help us learn to live in his love,
dependently trusting His powerful grace.
“My grace is sufficient
for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (II Cor 12: 7-10)
